Live Life For Eternity

This past weekend was the Catholic Midshipmen Club's big Fall retreat.  We were about twenty minutes away from the Naval Academy, which to a midshipmen is glorious and probably seems about a hundred miles away, at a Y.M.C.A. campgrounds called Camp Letts.  We got there Friday evening and after we had wonderful camp food we began our talks.  One of the midshipmen, named Peter, gave a talk on living life for Heaven and not just the Naval Academy.  A lot of midshipmen will workout and study for hours, and that is a great thing and is needed, but they often forget about prayer and living life for eternity. 


Peter preparing for his talk

People all around the world are doing the same thing (with a lot less of working out of course).  I often lose sight of the big picture.  We only get a little time on Earth, but that time is what we use to decide where we want to be for eternity.  If I lived my life for myself, and I wanted to do it my way without finding out what God wants, then the Lord will give me what I want.  If I want to be away from Him or if I put Him second, then because He loves me He will give me what I want the most.  He will give me an eternity of what I want, yet nothing other than Him can fill the infinite hole in our hearts.  I would be miserable knowing that I had given up the greatest gift of all, which is to be with God forever, and I would be in Hell.  Now, if I live for the Lord, knowing without Him I have nothing that can fill my heart, but with Him I have everything; if I do my work, be kind to people, and most importantly get to know Him; If I simply follow truth and the natural law written into my heart; If I let Him in to my heart, then the God who is love and truth Himself will give me everything I have truly ever wanted.  He will give me His entire self forever.  I would choose it, and He would give me Heaven.  The Lord does not make us go anywhere.  We choose our final destination, and because He loves us He gives it to us. Let us remember to live life for eternity. 




More great news of the retreat will come soon. 

Big Retreat Countdown...1 Day To Go

It is Thursday afternoon, and the Naval Academy FOCUS team is having a retreat tomorrow for the midshipmen.  We are traveling about twenty minutes to Camp Letts.  This is the big retreat for the semester, and most of these midshipmen have been waiting all semester.  I can feel their excitement as I talk to them between classes.  I know Christ will touch their hearts if they allow him to, but many people think that means a great emotional high.  Many people think that they are holy if they get a great feeling when they pray.  That is not always the case.

I remember when I played French horn back in high school, and one year we got brand new French horns.  They were so new that I could still smell the oils that they put on it.  No joke, they smelled like chocolate.  I was so excited that I started to play it more, and all of a sudden I thought I sounded way better.  This magic French Horn had made me a better French horn player!  The truth is that I probably was better, because I was finally practicing.  I would really just play some notes and have fun, but I felt really good.  Then after a while I got bored again, and I stopped practicing.  My skill lessened, and I thought to myself "Man, I need a new French horn!" I thought it was the new French horn that made me good, but when I finally realized it was not the new French horn that made me good, then I started to practice.  I mean I really started to practice.  I played scales and arpeggios.  I started private lessons, and I got better then I had ever been.  I began to enjoy playing the French horn, and sometimes it would get hard, but I would push through, and I would get better.  Sometimes, prayer can be similar. 

I used to think that a retreat would fix my prayer problems.  I would go on the retreat and it was easy to pray.  I would eat the chocolates that they would pass out, and I would get a sugar rush.  I would start praying, and I would think "Man, I am holy!  God Loves me so much!" I felt good, and I would leave the retreat on a spiritual high. I would go home and pray for a while, but after a time I would not feel so great about prayer.  I would think to myself "Man, I need another retreat!" I thought the retreat would make me holy, and I thought holiness or having good prayer meant that it always felt good, but the reality is that prayer does not always feel good.  In fact, that time when prayer does not "feel" well is usually when we are growing the most.  When you push through and pray and strive for God, then that is the time when you grow closest to Him.  When I learned this I started to truly pray, and I sometimes I still feel that prayer is tough, and that I am not getting anything out of it, but I push through and stay obedient.  Those times of difficult prayer always pass, and I need that union with Christ.  He calls all of us to Him, because He loves us and we are made for Him, so if you are having trouble in prayer just keep striving for Him and you will find joy and union with God. 


P.S. Please pray for all of the midshipmen at the retreat. 

Government Shutdown!!! WHAT?!

Before the shutdown happened, I told the midshipmen that if the government shutdown then the missionaries would still be there.  “We don’t work for the government.  We work for the Lord!” I reminded them.  Now that the shutdown has taken effect we are still here on the yard trying to spread the gospel. 

With half of the staff at the Naval Academy being civilians, the first thing I noticed on October 1^st was more parking.  Other than that, from the outside, everything seemed to be the same.  There were still guards at the gates.  The midshipmen still walked to class (which always reminds me of ants marching around), and the midshipmen still did their noon formation.  However, if you asked a midshipmen about the changes they could tell you a lot.  For instance, since about half of their professors are civilians many of their classes are practically put on hold.  Midshipmen have to go to class and sit there even if they don’t have a professor.  They are expected to read their books or work on new homework that the professors may have left, but they cannot ask their professors questions.  By law, a professor cannot show up to work or even read emails.  If the midshipmen is lucky (Or unlucky however you look at) they may be assigned a temporary military professor and be placed with two or three other classes.   For a while, they did not even know if the big Navy Air Force game was going to happen, but that was worked out and Navy had a great victory!  Hopefully, everything will continue to slowly go back to normal, but until then let us continue to pray for our country and politicians. 



P.S.  As of October 7th, civilian professors are back to work! 

 

What is Love?

Every time I ask people "What is love?" it never fails that someone starts to sing the song What Is Love by Haddaway.  I am sure you have heard it, and to be honest every time I ask people about love I think about the song too.  For the next hour the song is stuck in my head as I sing the opening over and over, and contemplate one of life's mysteries (I mean love...not the song by Haddaway.).  Have you ever thought about what love is?  I don't just mean romantic love, but also friendship love and love for family members.  The Greeks had different words for these different types of love, so that it would be easier to distinguish them, but I want to talk about what makes them the same.  



Romance

Every person desires to love and to be loved, and most of us believe that we cannot be happy without it.  We will search all of our lives for real love, yet how many people actually know what love is?  If you were to ask around you would hear so many answers.  Some people say love is a great emotion.  Some people say love is lust.  Some people say it is an instinct, and some people do not even believe in love.  One of my favorite answers I received was "Love is when momma gives daddy the last chicken nugget." I love that answer, because I think it is closest to the truth. 

I propose to you that love is not a great emotion; although emotions can be important.  Love is not lust, which is a perversion of attraction; although attraction can be important.  Love is not an instinct; although we always have the desire to love.   I propose to you that love is a free decision to give oneself for the better of the other. 



Friendship

I know some of you are thinking that I am crazy.  I bet you grew up thinking love was an emotion like I thought.  Now I am not here to say that you do not have emotions or that they are not important; In fact I think they are extremely important.  I think they make it easier to choose to love, but I do not think they are love.  Ask yourself how many times do your emotions change every day?  If you are like me then probably a lot. I am sure you do not always feel good towards the ones you love.  I bet there are days when they press your buttons, but you still choose to love them.  The emotions just make it easier to love.  The best example that I can think of is Jesus Christ as he carries his own cross to his own crucifixion.  Do you think he felt jolly about it?  No way!  He felt awful, but he chose to love.  He chose to give his life for our good.  He freely chose to die for our sins, so that if we chose to love then we could be with him forever in heaven.  Now, imagine the emotion he has when we accept that invitation.  Imagine the joy he feels when we repent.  Emotions are important, but love is the decision to give yourself for the better of the other. 



Family

Love is not lust or attraction.  Lust is the opposite of love.  Lust is use.  When a person lusts after another person then he or she is using the other person for his or her own gratification.  Attraction is different from lust.  Attraction is a good thing.  Attraction is God given.  There can be a lot of sexual attraction in romantic love, but usually not in the other types of friendships.  The difference between attraction and lust can seem small, but the consequences can be great.  Imagine that I make a huge cake that looks like a 3-D sculpture of St. Peter's Basilica, and you walk into the kitchen and you see my creation, and you see it for what it is, and you see it's beauty.  You have respect for the artwork and the hard work it took to make.  Now imagine some other people come into the kitchen and see the St. Peter's Basilica cake and all they want to do is eat it, and they grab handfuls until they are satisfied.  They don't realize the detail or beauty of the decorations.  They miss the entire artwork and it's majesty.  Lust does the same thing.  When someone lusts after another he or she misses the entire person.  Attraction recognizes the beauty of the other person and brings people closer, but attraction is still not love; although attraction can be important, and it can help us to love. 

Love is not an instinct either.  Love has to be free.  It cannot be forced.  We have instincts like the animals, but we also have free will.  We can go beyond our instincts, and that freedom gives us the ability to love.  Now, to those people who do not believe in love I am sorry you think that way.  Maybe this type of love is something you can believe in.  Call me a romantic, but I believe in love, and I believe it can last forever too.  If love is a decision then you can choose to love at anytime.  If you continue to decide to love then that love can last forever.  It is really up to us to love.  No other creature on earth can do it, and that does make us special.  It is a major part of what makes us in the image of God, and when we love like Him that will satisfy our hearts.




P.S. Six weeks exams are coming up for the midshipmen.  You can choose to love them by praying for them. 

 

FOCUS Secret Spy Training

Obviously, FOCUS missionaries are not super spies, but I often feel like one as I drive through Gate 1 at the United States Naval Academy.  I have to have a special ID to show to the armed guards at the gates, and I have to have a permit to drive onto the yard too.  I even have to be careful how I hand my ID to the guards, because if I hand it to them upside down it is supposed to mean that I am in distress and need assistance.  They might think someone is in the car with me and holding me hostage.  Imagine driving on the Yard and handing your ID to the guards upside down.  Can you picture the surprise on your passenger's face when the guards pull their firearms on them and drag them out of the car.  Honestly, they will probably ask you if you are OK, but you never know.  Well, luckily FOCUS does not have or need these rules, and FOCUS training was not anything like the Naval Academy. 

This summer we had training at Ave Maria, Florida for five weeks.  It was great to see friends and to know that all of these people were sent on the same mission.  I know they understand me when I talk about the good times and difficult times (There are no bad times.) of campus.  They are my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I felt like the seventy-two that Jesus sent out into the world to preach and heal, and when they came back from their journey they shared how mighty God was and how He provided for them. 



This has to be the funniest staff photo you have ever seen. 

We had great speakers and teachers come to teach us to be better evangelizers.  Curtis Martin, the founder of FOCUS, would come almost once a week and speak to us along with a lot of people from FOCUS National or "Big FOCUS" like the midshipmen call it.  It was great to see how personal they were trying to be with the missionaries.  You could see that they truly cared about us and would do anything they could to help us with our mission.  It is going to be a great year! 

P.S. These sunsets in Florida reminded me of Texas. 

Mids words

Here are some testimonies that two of the men, that I worked with, wrote about their experience with FOCUS.  The Lord is doing great things.  I could not have done it without him. 



Dear Marcos,

Just wanted to say thank-you for teaching your bible study this year. I really learned a lot this year and had a great time. You are an inspiration to other young Catholic men and I wish you the very best in all of your endeavors.

- Matt Metzdorff

Ensign Steve Billmaier

I was raised Catholic but didn't really care much for youth groups, youth contemporary worship, etc., and for that reason I didn't immediately become very active in the Catholic community at USNA.  When I did though, I found it was nothing like what I had assumed it would be.  FOCUS, in particular, was realistically geared towards young adults in a way I could relate to.  It helped me connect with other Catholics my age and share their faith experiences, and it provided some very positive role models in our missionaries.  It can sometimes be difficult to stay positive at a place like the Naval Academy, but Marcos was always cheerful and in good spirits.  He was so polite and confident in his faith that I had atheist and Protestant friends come tell me what a good guy he was after having conversations with him.  He was always ready to take the time to listen to my issues/concerns and provide some insight and advice, and he always checked up on me and my prayer life and even taught me some new ways to pray.  Interacting with Marcos definitely helped me to become more joyful and more devoted to prayer, and I am thankful for all his time and effort.

Ensign Steve Billmaier

P.S. I am back in Annapolis, and ready for the new school year.  More posts will come soon. 

Rome Part 3

Our last night in Rome was still great.  I felt as though I had been in Rome for months, and I was ready to go back to Annapolis, but knowing it was the last night I would be in Rome was still a little odd.  "Did I see everything I wanted?" I asked myself, so I thought about it, and after some thinking I decided I had seen everything except the Sistine Chapel.  I knew there was no chance I could see it tonight since it was still closed after the conclave, but I felt peaceful about the entire trip.  Yeah, I was ready to go back.  I was ready to continue the mission at the Naval Academy.

Mass with Cardinal Edwin Frederick O'Brien

Our last mass in Rome was Saturday evening with Cardinal O'Brien.  He used to be a Chaplain at West Point (Beat Army!!!), and then was made Archbishop of Baltimore.  On March 15, 2012, he was made the Grand Master of the Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem by Pope Benedict XVI.  We had scheduled this mass months ago, but we were not sure if it was still going to happen because of the conclave.  Since the conclave was over, Cardinal O'Brien was able to say mass, and it was just going to be our group.  Mass was beautiful as always, and afterwards he came to talk to us about the conclave.  All the Cardinals were sworn to secrecy about certain things inside the conclave, but he told us what he could, so we got inside information.  Obviously, he told us how Pope Francis was elected.  Here is the scoop!!! 

Coming into the conclave there was no front runner, and so for the first election there was no surprise when there was no winner.  On the second election people started to stick out, so by the third election there was actually a tie between Pope Francis and another Cardinal.  After each election the Cardinals would go and pray for who the Holy Spirit wanted them to elect, and Cardinal O'Brien said "at the fourth election something broke." Pope Francis pulled ahead, but he still did not have the two-thirds requirement to become Pope.  By the fifth vote it was all over, and Pope Francis had won the election.  I think the coolest thing is that when the fifth vote was counted Pope Francis won by way more then two-thirds of the vote.  It was inspiring to hear how unified the church was especially at a time when the world seems to be tearing a little around the edges.  It was a great ending to a wonderful trip, but the greatest part of the trip was just getting to know some of the midshipmen in a closer way. 

Hanging out with midshipmen

 

I met so many midshipmen who had never come around to the Catholic Midshipmen Club or bible studies.  It was great to see them grow in their faith as they looked upon the beautiful history of our faith.  There seemed to be a church on every street corner with some kind of amazing story.  It was wonderful to see people's faces as they went from excitement, to amazement, and to peace.  It was also nice to talk to them about what they loved about the faith and what they were still struggling with.  It seemed that everyone that came on the pilgrimage was searching for something. 

One of the midshipmen shared to me many struggles he had with the faith.  He said that he believed in God, but that he had never really heard Him in prayer, and that he really did not know Jesus in a personal way.  He told me that his prayer was not very consistent, so I challenged him to pray fifteen minutes a day for at least a week. I knew the Lord would speak to him, but he doubted that any change would happen.  We never talked about it until after the vigil mass, and he came up to me and said "Marcos, you were right." I did not know what he was talking about at first, but then I remembered the challenge I gave to him, and he shared how the Lord had really spoken to him.  I was so excited, and a little surprised, but I should not have been surprised.  Of course the Lord is going to speak when someone is searching for Him. 

The entire group bonded so much, and there will be moments that each of them will hold in their hearts for the rest of their life.  The Lord was definitely working on our hearts during this trip, and I am so thankful for His love. 

P.S.  Happy Birthday Marta!!!