What is Love?

Every time I ask people "What is love?" it never fails that someone starts to sing the song What Is Love by Haddaway.  I am sure you have heard it, and to be honest every time I ask people about love I think about the song too.  For the next hour the song is stuck in my head as I sing the opening over and over, and contemplate one of life's mysteries (I mean love...not the song by Haddaway.).  Have you ever thought about what love is?  I don't just mean romantic love, but also friendship love and love for family members.  The Greeks had different words for these different types of love, so that it would be easier to distinguish them, but I want to talk about what makes them the same.  



Romance

Every person desires to love and to be loved, and most of us believe that we cannot be happy without it.  We will search all of our lives for real love, yet how many people actually know what love is?  If you were to ask around you would hear so many answers.  Some people say love is a great emotion.  Some people say love is lust.  Some people say it is an instinct, and some people do not even believe in love.  One of my favorite answers I received was "Love is when momma gives daddy the last chicken nugget." I love that answer, because I think it is closest to the truth. 

I propose to you that love is not a great emotion; although emotions can be important.  Love is not lust, which is a perversion of attraction; although attraction can be important.  Love is not an instinct; although we always have the desire to love.   I propose to you that love is a free decision to give oneself for the better of the other. 



Friendship

I know some of you are thinking that I am crazy.  I bet you grew up thinking love was an emotion like I thought.  Now I am not here to say that you do not have emotions or that they are not important; In fact I think they are extremely important.  I think they make it easier to choose to love, but I do not think they are love.  Ask yourself how many times do your emotions change every day?  If you are like me then probably a lot. I am sure you do not always feel good towards the ones you love.  I bet there are days when they press your buttons, but you still choose to love them.  The emotions just make it easier to love.  The best example that I can think of is Jesus Christ as he carries his own cross to his own crucifixion.  Do you think he felt jolly about it?  No way!  He felt awful, but he chose to love.  He chose to give his life for our good.  He freely chose to die for our sins, so that if we chose to love then we could be with him forever in heaven.  Now, imagine the emotion he has when we accept that invitation.  Imagine the joy he feels when we repent.  Emotions are important, but love is the decision to give yourself for the better of the other. 



Family

Love is not lust or attraction.  Lust is the opposite of love.  Lust is use.  When a person lusts after another person then he or she is using the other person for his or her own gratification.  Attraction is different from lust.  Attraction is a good thing.  Attraction is God given.  There can be a lot of sexual attraction in romantic love, but usually not in the other types of friendships.  The difference between attraction and lust can seem small, but the consequences can be great.  Imagine that I make a huge cake that looks like a 3-D sculpture of St. Peter's Basilica, and you walk into the kitchen and you see my creation, and you see it for what it is, and you see it's beauty.  You have respect for the artwork and the hard work it took to make.  Now imagine some other people come into the kitchen and see the St. Peter's Basilica cake and all they want to do is eat it, and they grab handfuls until they are satisfied.  They don't realize the detail or beauty of the decorations.  They miss the entire artwork and it's majesty.  Lust does the same thing.  When someone lusts after another he or she misses the entire person.  Attraction recognizes the beauty of the other person and brings people closer, but attraction is still not love; although attraction can be important, and it can help us to love. 

Love is not an instinct either.  Love has to be free.  It cannot be forced.  We have instincts like the animals, but we also have free will.  We can go beyond our instincts, and that freedom gives us the ability to love.  Now, to those people who do not believe in love I am sorry you think that way.  Maybe this type of love is something you can believe in.  Call me a romantic, but I believe in love, and I believe it can last forever too.  If love is a decision then you can choose to love at anytime.  If you continue to decide to love then that love can last forever.  It is really up to us to love.  No other creature on earth can do it, and that does make us special.  It is a major part of what makes us in the image of God, and when we love like Him that will satisfy our hearts.




P.S. Six weeks exams are coming up for the midshipmen.  You can choose to love them by praying for them. 

 

FOCUS Secret Spy Training

Obviously, FOCUS missionaries are not super spies, but I often feel like one as I drive through Gate 1 at the United States Naval Academy.  I have to have a special ID to show to the armed guards at the gates, and I have to have a permit to drive onto the yard too.  I even have to be careful how I hand my ID to the guards, because if I hand it to them upside down it is supposed to mean that I am in distress and need assistance.  They might think someone is in the car with me and holding me hostage.  Imagine driving on the Yard and handing your ID to the guards upside down.  Can you picture the surprise on your passenger's face when the guards pull their firearms on them and drag them out of the car.  Honestly, they will probably ask you if you are OK, but you never know.  Well, luckily FOCUS does not have or need these rules, and FOCUS training was not anything like the Naval Academy. 

This summer we had training at Ave Maria, Florida for five weeks.  It was great to see friends and to know that all of these people were sent on the same mission.  I know they understand me when I talk about the good times and difficult times (There are no bad times.) of campus.  They are my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I felt like the seventy-two that Jesus sent out into the world to preach and heal, and when they came back from their journey they shared how mighty God was and how He provided for them. 



This has to be the funniest staff photo you have ever seen. 

We had great speakers and teachers come to teach us to be better evangelizers.  Curtis Martin, the founder of FOCUS, would come almost once a week and speak to us along with a lot of people from FOCUS National or "Big FOCUS" like the midshipmen call it.  It was great to see how personal they were trying to be with the missionaries.  You could see that they truly cared about us and would do anything they could to help us with our mission.  It is going to be a great year! 

P.S. These sunsets in Florida reminded me of Texas. 

Mids words

Here are some testimonies that two of the men, that I worked with, wrote about their experience with FOCUS.  The Lord is doing great things.  I could not have done it without him. 



Dear Marcos,

Just wanted to say thank-you for teaching your bible study this year. I really learned a lot this year and had a great time. You are an inspiration to other young Catholic men and I wish you the very best in all of your endeavors.

- Matt Metzdorff

Ensign Steve Billmaier

I was raised Catholic but didn't really care much for youth groups, youth contemporary worship, etc., and for that reason I didn't immediately become very active in the Catholic community at USNA.  When I did though, I found it was nothing like what I had assumed it would be.  FOCUS, in particular, was realistically geared towards young adults in a way I could relate to.  It helped me connect with other Catholics my age and share their faith experiences, and it provided some very positive role models in our missionaries.  It can sometimes be difficult to stay positive at a place like the Naval Academy, but Marcos was always cheerful and in good spirits.  He was so polite and confident in his faith that I had atheist and Protestant friends come tell me what a good guy he was after having conversations with him.  He was always ready to take the time to listen to my issues/concerns and provide some insight and advice, and he always checked up on me and my prayer life and even taught me some new ways to pray.  Interacting with Marcos definitely helped me to become more joyful and more devoted to prayer, and I am thankful for all his time and effort.

Ensign Steve Billmaier

P.S. I am back in Annapolis, and ready for the new school year.  More posts will come soon. 

Rome Part 3

Our last night in Rome was still great.  I felt as though I had been in Rome for months, and I was ready to go back to Annapolis, but knowing it was the last night I would be in Rome was still a little odd.  "Did I see everything I wanted?" I asked myself, so I thought about it, and after some thinking I decided I had seen everything except the Sistine Chapel.  I knew there was no chance I could see it tonight since it was still closed after the conclave, but I felt peaceful about the entire trip.  Yeah, I was ready to go back.  I was ready to continue the mission at the Naval Academy.

Mass with Cardinal Edwin Frederick O'Brien

Our last mass in Rome was Saturday evening with Cardinal O'Brien.  He used to be a Chaplain at West Point (Beat Army!!!), and then was made Archbishop of Baltimore.  On March 15, 2012, he was made the Grand Master of the Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem by Pope Benedict XVI.  We had scheduled this mass months ago, but we were not sure if it was still going to happen because of the conclave.  Since the conclave was over, Cardinal O'Brien was able to say mass, and it was just going to be our group.  Mass was beautiful as always, and afterwards he came to talk to us about the conclave.  All the Cardinals were sworn to secrecy about certain things inside the conclave, but he told us what he could, so we got inside information.  Obviously, he told us how Pope Francis was elected.  Here is the scoop!!! 

Coming into the conclave there was no front runner, and so for the first election there was no surprise when there was no winner.  On the second election people started to stick out, so by the third election there was actually a tie between Pope Francis and another Cardinal.  After each election the Cardinals would go and pray for who the Holy Spirit wanted them to elect, and Cardinal O'Brien said "at the fourth election something broke." Pope Francis pulled ahead, but he still did not have the two-thirds requirement to become Pope.  By the fifth vote it was all over, and Pope Francis had won the election.  I think the coolest thing is that when the fifth vote was counted Pope Francis won by way more then two-thirds of the vote.  It was inspiring to hear how unified the church was especially at a time when the world seems to be tearing a little around the edges.  It was a great ending to a wonderful trip, but the greatest part of the trip was just getting to know some of the midshipmen in a closer way. 

Hanging out with midshipmen

 

I met so many midshipmen who had never come around to the Catholic Midshipmen Club or bible studies.  It was great to see them grow in their faith as they looked upon the beautiful history of our faith.  There seemed to be a church on every street corner with some kind of amazing story.  It was wonderful to see people's faces as they went from excitement, to amazement, and to peace.  It was also nice to talk to them about what they loved about the faith and what they were still struggling with.  It seemed that everyone that came on the pilgrimage was searching for something. 

One of the midshipmen shared to me many struggles he had with the faith.  He said that he believed in God, but that he had never really heard Him in prayer, and that he really did not know Jesus in a personal way.  He told me that his prayer was not very consistent, so I challenged him to pray fifteen minutes a day for at least a week. I knew the Lord would speak to him, but he doubted that any change would happen.  We never talked about it until after the vigil mass, and he came up to me and said "Marcos, you were right." I did not know what he was talking about at first, but then I remembered the challenge I gave to him, and he shared how the Lord had really spoken to him.  I was so excited, and a little surprised, but I should not have been surprised.  Of course the Lord is going to speak when someone is searching for Him. 

The entire group bonded so much, and there will be moments that each of them will hold in their hearts for the rest of their life.  The Lord was definitely working on our hearts during this trip, and I am so thankful for His love. 

P.S.  Happy Birthday Marta!!!

Sea Trials Video

 

Here is the final video that the midshipmen made, and that I promised I would post.  I am so sorry for the cursing that was not edited out.  They are sailors and we are working on it.  I hope you enjoy it though.  The entire thing was a lot of fun, and I truly respect the midshipmen for having to do something that is ten times more difficult then what we did. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5kWH6ZKWBw


Here is another video that one of the midshipmen made.  They are so funny.  The first time I saw this I thought it was funny, but as I got to know the midshipmen the video just got better and better.  I hope you enjoy this too.  This video is child friendly. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN9PDZ8aVK4


P.S.  I am finally back in Texas, so I will be contacting some of you soon.  Have a great day! 

FOCUS Navy Sea Trials

Every year the plebe class does an intensive workout called sea trials.  It is usually about a 16 hour workout they have been preparing for all year.  This year, the FOCUS team decided to do a mini sea trials to take a glimpse into the life of a freshman midshipman's.  OK, so when I say that we decided I really mean that the midshipmen thought about it, planned for weeks on the best way to torture us, and we agreed to show up and do our best.  They did not think we would last 30 minutes, but we showed them!  We finished their little FOCUS Sea trials after three and a half hours of ... fun.  Ha ha.  No, it was actually great.  Here is a little preview of the event.  I will post the ten minute video later.  I hope you enjoy. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErOg9XzCl44&feature=youtu.be


P.S.  GO TEAM NAVY!!!

Rome Part 2

Assisi

The day after Pope Francis was elected we went to Assisi.  If you did not know it, this is where St. Francis of Assisi was from and started his ministry.  We planned the trip to Assisi before we went to Rome, and it was the only time we left the city.  The amazing thing was that our new Pope picked his name Francis after St. Francis of Assisi, so that night, when the Pope was elected, we all realized we were going to Assisi the very next day.  It was another one of those little things that the Lord planned for us. 

When we got there I found out that Assisi had two parts to the little town.  There was an old Assisi and a new Assisi.  New Assisi was down the hill by the train station, and old Assisi was on top of a hill, so a few of us started our hike up the hill like real pilgrims while the rest of our group took a cab.  If you ever get a chance make sure you walk.  It was amazing!  It looks like a long walk, but it really was not that bad, and the weather was great. 

 Assisi is one of the most peaceful towns I have ever been  . No, it is the most peaceful town I have ever been to.  Yet, there seemed to be this electricity in the air.  I don't know how to describe it, but I loved it, and at the very top of the city is a castle that was owned by St. Francis' father (The castle is on top of the center hill).  Captain Smith and I wanted to get to the castle, but we could not find the road to get there, so we ended up climbing the hill as if we were invaders. 

 When we finally got up to the castle we found that there was a few from our group already there.  Apparently there was an easy path to the castle. 

When we got to the top of the castle we looked down the hill, and realized why the castle was there.  If Captain Smith and I had been invaders there was no way we would have been successful on our attack.  We would have been easy targets. 

All that work was worth it, because the view was amazing!

Vatican Tour

This was the best tour I had ever been on.  The tour guide was amazing, and so was the Vatican.  I never knew that the Vatican had so many ancient artifacts.  Then again it makes sense that the church would help to preserve pieces of cultures.  It did the same thing in Europe during the Dark Ages.  It was also a great testament to how Christianity conquered all of these great nations.  They were not conquered by force from the outside but by love from the inside.  Here are a few of my favorite pictures. 

This is the vehicle that John Paul II rode when he was shot. 

Rafael's challenge to Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. 

 

Where's Rafael?

 

Trick question.  He is over here. 

 

Proof I was there. 

I had studied this in high school, but it was much more impressive in person. 

 P.S.  There will be a Rome Part 3.