It is Thursday afternoon, and the Naval Academy FOCUS team is having a retreat tomorrow for the midshipmen. We are traveling about twenty minutes to Camp Letts. This is the big retreat for the semester, and most of these midshipmen have been waiting all semester. I can feel their excitement as I talk to them between classes. I know Christ will touch their hearts if they allow him to, but many people think that means a great emotional high. Many people think that they are holy if they get a great feeling when they pray. That is not always the case.
I remember when I played French horn back in high school, and one year we got brand new French horns. They were so new that I could still smell the oils that they put on it. No joke, they smelled like chocolate. I was so excited that I started to play it more, and all of a sudden I thought I sounded way better. This magic French Horn had made me a better French horn player! The truth is that I probably was better, because I was finally practicing. I would really just play some notes and have fun, but I felt really good. Then after a while I got bored again, and I stopped practicing. My skill lessened, and I thought to myself "Man, I need a new French horn!" I thought it was the new French horn that made me good, but when I finally realized it was not the new French horn that made me good, then I started to practice. I mean I really started to practice. I played scales and arpeggios. I started private lessons, and I got better then I had ever been. I began to enjoy playing the French horn, and sometimes it would get hard, but I would push through, and I would get better. Sometimes, prayer can be similar.
I used to think that a retreat would fix my prayer problems. I would go on the retreat and it was easy to pray. I would eat the chocolates that they would pass out, and I would get a sugar rush. I would start praying, and I would think "Man, I am holy! God Loves me so much!" I felt good, and I would leave the retreat on a spiritual high. I would go home and pray for a while, but after a time I would not feel so great about prayer. I would think to myself "Man, I need another retreat!" I thought the retreat would make me holy, and I thought holiness or having good prayer meant that it always felt good, but the reality is that prayer does not always feel good. In fact, that time when prayer does not "feel" well is usually when we are growing the most. When you push through and pray and strive for God, then that is the time when you grow closest to Him. When I learned this I started to truly pray, and I sometimes I still feel that prayer is tough, and that I am not getting anything out of it, but I push through and stay obedient. Those times of difficult prayer always pass, and I need that union with Christ. He calls all of us to Him, because He loves us and we are made for Him, so if you are having trouble in prayer just keep striving for Him and you will find joy and union with God.
P.S. Please pray for all of the midshipmen at the retreat.
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